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A CHRISTMAS "MYSTERY" SOLVED!
Editorial note:In the tradition of the season portions of the following article
are, as our friends in the United Kingdom would phrase it, "tongue in
cheek." The historical information, however, is accurate and verifiable.
From documents recently declassified in the aftermath of the Trent Lott - Strom Thurman
birthday party scandal, another mystery has been solved.
The Office of Homeboy Security has discovered the answer to that age-old question asked by
children during the Christmas season, "Why does Santa Claus use the
chimney instead of the front door"?
It all goes back to the fact that the original Ku Klux Klan was founded on a Christmas Eve.
(That happened on December 24, 1865 in Pulaski, Tennessee, and was
instigated by six former Confederate army soldiers.)
The first Klansmen made robes and hoods from bed sheets and pillowcases and rode on
horseback through the town of Pulaski. That triggered panic-stricken terror
--because people believed that the nightriders were the spirits of Confederate soldiers raised from their graves -- and the
Ku Klux Klan, as an instrument of terror,
was born. (Quite a "Christmas greeting"!)
Since the original St Nicholas was a Black man, this situation presented quite a problem
for good old "Santa Claus."
Remember now that Harlem, the "capital of Black America," had a St Nicholas
Avenue many years before streets were named for such other well-known
outstanding heroes as Frederick Douglass, Marcus Garvey, Martin Luther King, Adam Clayton Powell and Malcolm X.
The town of Pulaski, Tennessee was named for the Polish general who aided George Washington
during the American Revolution. In that war, at the Boston
massacre, the first person to sacrifice his life for freedom was Crispus Attucks, a Black man.
General Pulaski's homeland, Poland, has long recognized the contributions of Black people
to civilization throughout history. To this day, that nation has shrines to
the "Black Madonna," one of which Pope John Paul II visited a few years ago.
The jolly old fat man in the red suit, in the tradition of his ancestors, proved to be a
very resourceful, inventive and creative person.
Rather than risk a violent confrontation with cross burners on the front lawn, he chose
instead to land on the roof and enter the house through the chimney to leave
his Christmas gifts.
In doing so he solved multiple problems.
First, if he encountered someone in the house who had been infected and poisoned by
American racism and could not envision a black Santa Claus, he could
attribute his black face to the chimney soot and avoid a foolish argument during a time supposedly celebrating the birth of
the "Prince of Peace."
Secondly, he avoided being strung up from a tree by the drunken, wicked mob of Klansmen
outside in their sheets and hoods.
Finally, he spared Rudolph and the other reindeer from being carved up into venison steaks
while poor old St Nick dangled from the rope of a lynch mob.
Two lessons from the Ancestors:
"Freedom and Responsibility are Siamese twins. You can not have the first without the
"God don't like 'ugly' and ain't too particular about 'pretty' -- Think about the
consequences of your words and actions."
MAY THERE SOON REALLY BE
"PEACE ON EARTH AND
GOOD WILL FOR ALL OF HUMANITY"
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Urban Cartographer Online
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